Don't believe the lie that you are alone

Make no mistake, mental illness is real. Before I witnessed its devastating effects on my husband, Trevor, I lumped mental illness into the same category as making poor financial decisions or illiteracy: preventable with the right education and very much a matter of will. Not only was I wrong, but it's much more complex than that. I had a lot to learn. 

We hear the words “mental health” and “mental illness” more and more these days, especially as May is Mental Health Awareness month. However, they are often discussed in a vague and undefined way, so much so that it is almost counterproductive, fostering confusion and fear and doing little to reduce the power of stigma. Let’s clarify a few things. Everyone “has” mental health (regardless of its condition), but not everyone has a mental illness. A mental illness is a condition of the brain that impedes someone’s ability to have consistent mental wellness. When the terms mental health and mental illness become synonymous, it only adds to the confusion. 

The diversity of manifestations of mental illnesses doesn’t do much to help the average person grow in awareness and empathy for those suffering. Not only are there so many types of mental illnesses, but the same condition can express itself in such a variety of ways that it makes recognition, diagnoses, and support even more difficult. Toss more than one illness into the mix and the complexity grows exponentially. I won’t throw numbers at you to help you understand how prevalent mental illnesses are in our culture, because honestly, I don’t think it makes a difference beyond a purely academic “wow” factor. To witness one person you love or care about suffering from the effects is far more sobering and compelling. For me, when that person was my husband, it turned my world upside down. 

If you struggle to maintain your mental health or have a mental illness, then you know exactly why I’m writing. If you love someone who has wrestled with these issues, know that I am with you and see you. It can feel tremendously lonely, but don’t believe the lie that you are alone. And if you are like I was a couple years ago, confused about all the attention mental health is getting, I’m writing for you too. There are people in your world who need you to understand. They need your support and care. 

So in the days ahead I’ll be posting some of my thoughts regarding mental health and illness, informed by our personal experiences over the past few years to help increase health literacy: a few stories, a couple poems, and maybe a challenge as well.